Rad/Onc Appointment today and more
Warning- probably not what you want to hear... but just look at the title of the blog.
I am getting set up for radiation today. I still have quite a bit of swelling in my armpit from the surgery. I pulled the drain myself a couple weeks ago two days before my appointment with the surgeon. It was starting to get sore and infected and I had a low grade fever. Good thing I kept the suture scissors that weren't used from the disposable kits when I worked in the ER. I have never had radiation, so I'm not sure what to expect. I read about the set up procedure on the Susan Komen site. They actually have fairly detailed info, which is nice. I guess I could talk to somebody that has been through it, but I would just end up crying, so I don't want to talk to anybody. I am hoping that the swelling doesn't affect the set up, I guess I will find out soon enough.
When they did the initial Pet Scan, I had a lump in my hamstring that "lit up". It is something that I have had for over a year, but lately it has been causing pain, so I decided I should get it checked out. My random screaming from the pain seems to alarm people... especially in the grocery store. It is usually just a quick "I think I just got jabbed with a cattle prod", so I just smile, say sorry and go about cleaning up the eggs off the floor... I am having a MRI on Friday, which will hopefully offer some insight to what it is. I am assuming it gets swollen and presses on nerves, which in turn causes the random pain.
I have been "weepy" the past week. I'm not sure if it is the drugs or the situation. I think it is the anastrozole, because it just seems like it is more than "woe is me".... it is more like FML. (I'm not going to spell it out, if you don't know it, you will have to look it up.) There are up moments - way ups, like I have a ton of energy and feel almost "normal", whatever that is and then there are downs and I am wondering if I loaded the gun. I know I will get through this, I have a lot of support, but sometimes I just have to wonder why... then I start thinking of the dogs and horses on the GoFundMe accounts that need my money. Yes, even when I am contemplating suicide, I am still joking.
As for the anastrozol (Arimidex), I seem to be doing okay except for the mood changes. I don't have any nausea, which the Havasu oncologist insisted I would have because I would read the side effects and make myself sick. I have gained a few pounds, but I don't know if it is the medication or because I am finally eating. My taste has changed and my tongue gets numb for awhile after taking it. I am thinking it has also made my asthma slightly worse, but I think as I get stronger, I will get that under control.... The one thing that really pisses me off, is that it changes the taste of my coffee. This may be a deal breaker... just kidding. I found a different brand that doesn't seem to taste like an ashtray. I guess I could quit drinking coffee, but that is the only vice I have. I would like to cling to it until the end.
So for my "Announcement"... I have always been goal oriented. My motto (not always a good one) is "If you can't win, why enter?", so I have decided that I am going to train for the HITS Triathlon in 2016. Just the sprint version, the ironman will be in 2017. ;) I figured I needed a goal, more than just walking the dogs and making t-shirts. I needed something for myself. I don't expect to win, my goal is to do it and finish. It is a little off track of my goal for the past 7 years which was to NOT reach my insurance deductible. I am just going all out.
*Update on Radiology- What a flipping waste of time! Seriously? So I was supposed to have the appointment last week, but it got rescheduled to today because I still had my drain in. I was expecting to get set up today, but all I did was sign paperwork authorizing treatment. Are you f***ing kidding me? I couldn't sign paperwork with a drain in... why? So the set up will be Friday. I really just want to get this done and over with. And if I have one more doctor explain that I MIGHT get lymphedema... can someone please bail me out of jail? I have had lymphedema since 2009, I get that I don't look like I have it, but I do, it sucks and yes it is basically under control... unlike my temper.
I am getting set up for radiation today. I still have quite a bit of swelling in my armpit from the surgery. I pulled the drain myself a couple weeks ago two days before my appointment with the surgeon. It was starting to get sore and infected and I had a low grade fever. Good thing I kept the suture scissors that weren't used from the disposable kits when I worked in the ER. I have never had radiation, so I'm not sure what to expect. I read about the set up procedure on the Susan Komen site. They actually have fairly detailed info, which is nice. I guess I could talk to somebody that has been through it, but I would just end up crying, so I don't want to talk to anybody. I am hoping that the swelling doesn't affect the set up, I guess I will find out soon enough.
When they did the initial Pet Scan, I had a lump in my hamstring that "lit up". It is something that I have had for over a year, but lately it has been causing pain, so I decided I should get it checked out. My random screaming from the pain seems to alarm people... especially in the grocery store. It is usually just a quick "I think I just got jabbed with a cattle prod", so I just smile, say sorry and go about cleaning up the eggs off the floor... I am having a MRI on Friday, which will hopefully offer some insight to what it is. I am assuming it gets swollen and presses on nerves, which in turn causes the random pain.
I have been "weepy" the past week. I'm not sure if it is the drugs or the situation. I think it is the anastrozole, because it just seems like it is more than "woe is me".... it is more like FML. (I'm not going to spell it out, if you don't know it, you will have to look it up.) There are up moments - way ups, like I have a ton of energy and feel almost "normal", whatever that is and then there are downs and I am wondering if I loaded the gun. I know I will get through this, I have a lot of support, but sometimes I just have to wonder why... then I start thinking of the dogs and horses on the GoFundMe accounts that need my money. Yes, even when I am contemplating suicide, I am still joking.
As for the anastrozol (Arimidex), I seem to be doing okay except for the mood changes. I don't have any nausea, which the Havasu oncologist insisted I would have because I would read the side effects and make myself sick. I have gained a few pounds, but I don't know if it is the medication or because I am finally eating. My taste has changed and my tongue gets numb for awhile after taking it. I am thinking it has also made my asthma slightly worse, but I think as I get stronger, I will get that under control.... The one thing that really pisses me off, is that it changes the taste of my coffee. This may be a deal breaker... just kidding. I found a different brand that doesn't seem to taste like an ashtray. I guess I could quit drinking coffee, but that is the only vice I have. I would like to cling to it until the end.
So for my "Announcement"... I have always been goal oriented. My motto (not always a good one) is "If you can't win, why enter?", so I have decided that I am going to train for the HITS Triathlon in 2016. Just the sprint version, the ironman will be in 2017. ;) I figured I needed a goal, more than just walking the dogs and making t-shirts. I needed something for myself. I don't expect to win, my goal is to do it and finish. It is a little off track of my goal for the past 7 years which was to NOT reach my insurance deductible. I am just going all out.
*Update on Radiology- What a flipping waste of time! Seriously? So I was supposed to have the appointment last week, but it got rescheduled to today because I still had my drain in. I was expecting to get set up today, but all I did was sign paperwork authorizing treatment. Are you f***ing kidding me? I couldn't sign paperwork with a drain in... why? So the set up will be Friday. I really just want to get this done and over with. And if I have one more doctor explain that I MIGHT get lymphedema... can someone please bail me out of jail? I have had lymphedema since 2009, I get that I don't look like I have it, but I do, it sucks and yes it is basically under control... unlike my temper.
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