Reality?... maybe, but nobody knows

I went shoe shopping with my friend and Hailey the other day.  I hate shopping, so I must REALLY love my friend.;)  We actually went shopping for shoes for her, but I do LOVE running shoes!!!  Just trying on running shoes makes me want to go for a run and in the store with those beautiful new shoes on I feel like a super athlete.... who cares I can only run a 15 minute mile, down hill... right?  The marathon can be next year. Anyway, I started out helping my friend, but they just happened to have one of the shoes that I really like on sale in my size for the display shoe.  I tried it on and of course I felt like I could go running... if only I had the other shoe.  It is hard to do a sub 6 minute mile in one shoe. My friend asked the sales person to get the other shoe, but reality sunk in.... I shook my head "no" and had a mini tantrum in the store. "I don't want it".  I took off the shoe and put it away, pretty much close to tears. I felt like I hit a wall.  Why should I be buying shoes? I was thinking to myself that if I am dead then my family is just going to have to get rid of them and here I am spending money on something I don't need. 

I don't know what my treatment is going to be.  I don't know if I am even going to feel like running, much less walking, I don't have a prognoses... too many unanswered questions.  My friend pointed out later that none of know that.  We could walk outside to get the mail and get hit by a car, or whatever.  The doctor can give me a prognosis, it is their best guess based on other patients.  So far, I don't seem to follow the "norm", so why should I start now?  I think I will buy the shoes, fill up the tires in my bike, start training in the pool and do that damn Triathlon next year.  Anybody up for a swim in the lake? ;)